I had not read a book specifically dealing with this topic.   The book deals with a very prevalent problem so it is surprising that there are not books addressing this need.  Having been in the ministry for 30 years, I have worked with many, many parents struggling with a rebellious child and up until now never had a great resource in the form of a book for them.  Now I do.

Much of Kimmel discusses in this book, I have observed over all these years.  He gives 8 reasons why Christian kids rebel.  I would say that as I reflect on the situations I have observed, in every case the child/youth fell into one of these categories.

Kimmel does a great job of describing the types of parents that tend to produce rebellious children – Compulsory Christianity, Cliché, Christianity, Comfortable Christianity, Cocoon Christianity, Compromised Christianity.  He also points out that certain environments can be a hot bed for breeding rebellious kids.  One of those is Christian Schools.  He also addresses to a lesser degree, home schooling.  Having had our kids experience home school, public school and Christian school I appreciate the fact that the key to the success of any of these options is the motivation of the parents and the level of authentic Christianity kids experience at home.

I tend to disagree with his emphasis on kids in Christian schools being sheltered from the world.  Perhaps the schools he is familiar with (he taught in one) are radically different from the ones my kids have attended.  In fact, I would say that to some degree our experience fell in line with his philosophy of parenting which is to allow you kids to experience the world in an increasing level of exposure as they grow older.  I would say that during the elementary years our kids were more sheltered than they were in junior high and even less so in high school.  An easy way to see how this works is to add the last element of Christian education, Christian college.   All you have to do is ask someone who attended one of the premier Christian colleges, let’s say TCU, SMU or Baylor and see if they felt as if they were sheltered from the world. I am a strong proponent of choosing the best education option for your children.  Having experienced them all I firmly believe they all have advantages and disadvantages.

This book was very helpful.  It affirmed what I believe is one of the keys to avoiding raising rebellious Christian kids – allowing your kids to experience appropriate levels of freedom as they grow older. Our motto was to say ‘yes’ whenever possible.  I believed my kids were going to make good wise decisions until they proved otherwise.  For us, it just did not happen often

I recommend this book to any and every parent. 

Doug Walker, our senior pastor at Fellowship of the Parks, wrote this book which is the story of his journey in facing the challenges of feeling rejected and unaccepted.   Doug was given up by his birth mother and adopted.   While the fact that he was adopted led to its own set of issues, he also struggled with what he felt like was a lack of unconditional love from his adoptive mother.  This all resulted in years of having his self worth tied to performance.

Doug’s story is compelling and each person who reads this book will find themselves somewhere in the story.  In the end, discovering the richness of being loved unconditionally by God helped Doug reconcile the pain of the past. 

This book is an easy read.  Anyone can benefit from reading it but those touched by adoption in any way will find it most helpful.

This book is authored by former UT quarterback Colt McCoy and his dad.  The story begins with Colt playing in his first professional football game for the Cleveland Browns.   Then you are taken back to story of the McCoy family and Colt’s childhood.  

I knew a little about Colt’s background but reading the book gave me a greater appreciation for his family.  They were of modest means (his dad was a coach) and lived in a small town.  They lived out their faith without being offensive or radically strange in some way.

This is a great book for dad’s to read.  You will be inspired by Colt’s father.   He loved God, his wife and his children but you get the idea that what he did is doable for any father.   He was not a saint or a theologian.  He is a man of character who made mistakes  along the way but overall sets an example for others to follow.

This is the best book I have ever read on the subject of anger.  It is simple and very practical.  Ingram helps us to see that anger is simply a signal, a warning sign that something is not right.  Often times we   spend most of our time dealing with the signal rather than the underlying cause.   This would be like trying to get the oil light repaired on your car instead of realizing that you are low on oil.

The most helpful part of this book for me was the way he indentifies the three main ways that we express anger.   We are either spewers (we explode), stewers (we stuff it, pretend we are not angry) or we are leakers.  Leakers express anger by being critical, sarcastic, and/or backstabbing.  Sometimes they can even use humor as a way of expressing anger.   I have often said that I do not have a problem with anger simply because I am not a spewer.  Reading this book help me see that I am a leaker.

Ingram, gives very practical steps to help us learn how to express anger in a constructive manner.   He does this for each of the three primary ways that we express anger.

This is a great book.  I think anyone could benefit from reading it.

Dr. Marti Olsen Laney is well qualified to write this book since she herself is introverted.  According to her research only about 25% of us are introverted.   I am not one of those people.  My purpose in reading the book was to gain a greater appreciation for those who are and to learn to relate to introverts in a more effective manner.

The book includes a quickie quiz to help you determine if you are an introvert.  For instance introverts…

            Prefer to relax alone with a few close friends

            Consider only deep relationships as friends

            Appear calm, self contained and like to observe

            Don’t like feeling rushed

            Tend to think before they speak

There is a much more extensive self assessment in the book as well.

Part of the reason Dr. Olson wrote this book is to clear up some misconceptions about introverts.  For instance, we often think of introverts as being unsociable.  The fact is they are very sociable but in a different way.  They prefer close friendships and deep conversations over chit chat.

Introverts will discover that they are in good company.  Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan, Thomas Edison, Laura Bush, Bill Gates, Harrison Ford, and Diane Sawyer are just a few of the famous introverts.

I enjoyed reading The Introvert Advantage.  I can truly say that it helped me reach my intended goal of learning more about introverts and how to relate to them.

I read this book to get ready for our recent series, Homelife.  I read the original Boundaries book years ago.  Boundaries with Kids is a great book for parents.  We used many of these principles and they worked.  Most of it is common sense but I find that many parents lack common sense when it comes to parenting.  When I taught on this at the church many of the parents found the barriers to boundaries very helpful as well as some of the other insight I shared from this book.

The good news for parents today - there are many great resources at their fingertips to help them with thier task.  This is one of them.

This Sunday we will continue the Homelife series by taking a look at The Nursery.  I have several parenting books listed under the Books for Parents Category. In addition, I am currently reading Boundaries with Kids by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  I read the original Boundaries book by these authors when it came out several years ago.  These books provide helpful insight and information to help you take contlrol and responsiblity of your life.  Learning how to set responsible boundaries is a very liberatiing concept.   This proved to be invaluable to us when our three children were younger.  Reminding ourselves that our goal was to develop character in our children and that the future is now helped us see three extroverted strong willed children mature into young adults.  It was not easy but it is absolutely rewarding

I recently read some comments regarding a book called Children Raising Parents by Dan Allender.  Everything I read indicated that this is a great book.  Dan is one of my favorite authors.  I got to meet him a few years back and my appreciation for his approach to life grew even stronger.

Dr. Kevin Leman is the author of this book.  He also wrote How to Make Your Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

This is a straight forward approach to parenting.  Here are a few of the important principles from the book:

Kids do what they do because they have gotten away with it.

Remember what you child thinks of you about in the moment is not necessarily what they will think about you for life.

The goal of every parent is to raise independent thinkers who have respect for others and for themselves.

Dr. Leman does a great job helping parents determine thier parenting style: permissive, authoritarian, or authoritative.  He gives practical steps for moving to a healthy authoritative style.

This is not one of my favorite parenting books but the testimonies included in the book testify to the effectiveness of this approach.  I would have to say that we have been able to apply much of what we learned. 

Here are some great quotes about teenagers: If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.  ~Al Bernstein

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.  ~Dorothy Parker

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.  ~Erma Bombeck

In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals.  If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

The invention of the teenager was a mistake.  Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.  ~Judith Martin

Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.  Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.  ~Author Unknown

None of these quotes are in this book but it is full of good, practical advice for parents of teens.  Pat and I read this book when our son became a teenager and it was a huge help. So why am I putting it on my blog now – because I noticed I only had one book for parents.  Trust me, there are many more to come.

You will learn the difference between helicopter parents and drill sergeant parents.  We were definitely helicopter parents. In reading, we learned how to balance love and logic.  Love is giving your teens the opportunity to be responsible and empowering them to make wise decisions.  Logic means allowing your teen to experience the natural consequences of their actions. We could have done a better job I am sure but both of our older kids are off at college now.  Pat and I are so proud of the choices they are making and the maturity they demonstrate.  Raising Teens with Love and Logic helped make it happen.

The authors of this book, Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice surveyed over 1000 teenagers to gather data for this book.  Pat and I read this book as we prepared to raise our third teenager.  We both gained some new insight into teenagers that has proven to be very helpful with our youngest, Caroline.

This book is only 183 pages long.  I found it very easy to read. I recommend it to parents of teens.

This is part of a series of these books which also includes For Men Only and For Women Only.