I read this book to get ready for a parent and teen event we were having at our church. Having read The Five Love Languages book, I really did not know if I would gain much new information from this book. The bottom line is that I learned a good deal about love languages in regards to teens.
My youngest child is 17. Her love language as a child was so easy to determine. She was definitely physical touch. However, as a teen she seemed to reject an efforts to show physical affection. In reading the book, teens like my daughter do not like for parents to show that type of affection in the presence of their peers. The teen is trying to break away and to experience more freedom. By showing them love through physical touch, they are reminded that they are not free. Because of this, teens will sometimes default to their second primary language. For Caroline that is quality time. In fact, we have noticed that Caroline enjoys having us watch movies and TV programs with her to a much greater degree than earlier in her life.
Being a words of affirmation person, it was interesting to see the comments of teens regarding this love language. Many of them said that as a child their parents constantly affirmed them but when they became teens their parents spent more time pointing out their mistakes and shortcomings. Chapman instructs parents to continue to look for those things they can affirm and even if you can’t affirm the results you can affirm the effort.
This book was worth the time. For those who have read the basic Five Love Languages book, you can simply skim the book to find the advice given about relating to teens.